


Broken

by Providence26



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-11 02:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13515186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Providence26/pseuds/Providence26
Summary: Part of the 2013 Cabenson fanfic challenge on tumblr





	Broken

At just after midnight Detective Olivia Benson was still at her desk, this was an all too common occurrence for the veteran SVU detective. She could not bear to go home to her empty apartment, many nights she just stayed in the crib. It had been seven months since her ex-lover had left to take up a position with the ICC. Olivia knew that the last few months had included trips to The Hague and the DRC. She hadn’t heard these things directly from Alex herself of course, but through mutual friends and acquaintances.

Alex’s new job had been unexpected, Olivia hadn’t even known about the job offer, much less her acceptance. She was stunned practically to silence when she heard of it from a witness in a case. When she looked to Alex for confirmation, she could only see a sliver of guilt, but mostly she just saw defiance.  
The knowledge that she didn’t even rank high enough to get a heads up, let alone discuss it with her, was like a silver blade to her heart.

A sharp vibration signalling a new message rattled through her desk.

I am returning to New York on the 14th. I have missed you. Can we meet up?

Olivia just sat and looked at the message, she didn’t even know how to respond. She had been so happy with Alex, finally she had felt settled, loved and accepted for who she was, rather than in spite of what she was. She couldn’t deal with this right now, so she ignored the message and headed up to the crib. As usual, she was the only one there so it didn’t matter if she cried, or as was usually the case, sobbed until she heaved.

 

Ten days later Olivia received another message from Alex, this time via email.

Liv,

I am not sure if you received my text, have you changed your number?  
I am returning to New York in five days, could I take you out to dinner? I miss you, everyday.

With love

Alex

Olivia hadn’t replied to Alex’s earlier text, and had hoped that she could get away with avoiding the situation entirely. It looked as if Alex was not going to let this go. She pressed reply.

Alex,

No.

Liv

There had been no response to Olivia’s curt email reply, a part of Olivia, that had diminished as time passed, had wanted, craved, contact from Alex. But with each day passing without any, her hope had shrunk, she felt foolish for holding onto it. How could she be pining away for someone with so little regard for her.

 

Tonight she resolved to go home early, reacquaint herself with her apartment, get used to being there alone.  
She hadn’t expected Alex to be waiting outside when she got there.

“I didn’t think you were ever coming home. I stopped by last night and the night before, you weren’t here either time.”

Olivia didn’t know how to respond, she had thought that she would be overjoyed just to set eyes on Alex again, but curiously, she didn’t feel anything.

“What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Liv, please, don’t be like this.”

“Alex, go home.”

“You are my home Liv, if there is one thing that I have learned from my time away from you it is that.”

“I don’t want you here Alex. Things have changed since you left. I have changed.”

“Are you saying that there is no place for me in your life now?”

“You removed yourself from my life Alex. Your choice. You didn’t tell me you were going. You gave me months of silence to go along with your absence. I am not prepared to let you back in.”

There was disbelief mixed with distress marring Alex’s features, slowly, tears slid down her cheeks.

“I don’t believe that we are over, there must be a way..”

Olivia spoke up, cutting Alex off, “Alex, you broke me, you made me so happy and then you just broke me. I have spent the past seven and a half months trying to piece myself back together. I am not the same anymore. I can’t afford to let you back in, because next time you will completely shatter me and I won’t be able to put the pieces back together. So just go Alex.  
Please just go, and don’t come back.”

“I will fight for us Liv, we can’t be over, I need you.”

With a long look back at Alex, Olivia opened her front door, entered her apartment and shut the door in the face of a sobbing Alex.

Alex raised her hand to place it on the door, leant against it, slowly letting herself slide to the ground, her heart breaking.


End file.
